fhe mood was somber that Calember at St.-Mere-Abelle, where all the abbots and masters and many of the immaculate brothers had gathered for their second College of Abbots in recent years. That first College, wherein Markwart had declared Avelyn a heretic and had burned Avelyn's primary follower, Master Jojonah, at the stake, had been marked by excitement and action, with rousing speeches and grand rhetoric. But this one, though the times seemed more peaceful and the future in many ways more promising, was a quiet yet foreboding event. Two noteworthy absences-that of Abbess Delenia of St. Gwendolyn and that of Master Marcalo De'Unnero-had set the grim tone, especially when De'Unnero's messenger, a peasant, had arrived with the news of the tragedy at St. Gwendolyn.
Abbot Braumin and Master Viscenti spent their first hours at the great abbey enjoying a reunion with Brother Dellman, and it didn't take Dellman long to convince them that Abbot Agronguerre was indeed the best choice for the position of father abbot. Dellman spoke mostly of Agronguerre's easy temperament and of the man's handling of Bruinhelde and the other Alpinadorans.
"I have spent several months with the abbot," Dellman finished, "and I am certain that he was no lackey of Markwart. No, when Abbot Je'howith told you that Agronguerre was not pleased with the handling of Master Jojonah, he was speaking truthfully."
Abbot Braumin looked at Viscenti, who was nodding enthusiastically. "Abbot Agronguerre, then," he remarked, "and may God grant him the wisdom to lead us through these difficult days." Abbot Braumin patted Dellman's shoulder, thanking him for a job well done, and then rose to leave-to confer with Master Francis and then with old Je'howith, who had only arrived an hour earlier, obviously exhausted. "There is yet another matter we must discuss," Brother Dellman remarked, his tone grave.
Abbot Braumin turned, studied the man for a moment, then took his seat.
Brother Dellman began this part of his report dramatically, throwing a bright red beret, a powrie's infamous bloody cap, "on the table before his two companions. "It concerns Duke Kalas," he began.
As expected, Abbot Agronguerre of St. Belfour was quickly nominated and elected father abbot. Abbot Braumin and his followers backed him enthusiastically, as did old Je'howith and Master Francis, along with Bouraiy and Glendenhook and several others from St.-Mere-Abelle.
Abbot Olin of St. Bondabruce of Entel was not pleased, but as Abbess Delenia was dead, he could rally no real support for his own cause. Delenia's self-appointed successor, De'Unnero, surprisingly backed Olin in absentia, but that only seemed to hurt the man's chances even more.
So on a cold morning in God's Year 827, on the very first vote of the College, Abbot Fuesa Agronguerre of Vanguard became Father Abbot Agronguerre of the Abellican Church, the second most powerful man in all Honce-the-Bear.
He ascended the podium to offer his acceptance speech to moderate applause. Even his most fervent backers had voted for him only because they believed him to be a peacemaker, a fence-mender, someone who could appease both that group rooted in the traditions of the Church as expressed by Father Abbot Markwart and those followers of Avelyn Desbris, determined to reform what they saw as tragic flaws in the Church.
"As you know, I have spent almost all my long life in Vanguard," Agronguerre said, measuring his words carefully, after he had completed the formal regards to his hosts and a recitation of the virtues of Abbot Olin, his only competition for the position, that went on for nearly five minutes. "Many of you might wonder, then, if that experience-or lack of experience-might prove a detriment to me as I seek to lead the Church that is mostly based outside that isolated region. Put those fears in a hole deep and dark, I pray. Vanguard is not so different a place from St.-MereAbelle, and living among the small numbers of people up there has provided me an understanding of the world at large.
"I have served the Prince of Honce-the-Bear for many years now," Agronguerre went on, "as fine a man as I have ever known. With his guidance, the folk of Vanguard have forged an alliance, a bond of necessity, with the barbarians ofAlpinador." That news brought more than a few surprised expressions and more than a few gasps and groans. The Abellican Church had a long and disastrous history with the Alpinadoran barbarians. Many times, the Church had sent missionaries, had even established minor chapels inside Alpinador; and every one of those excursions had ended disastrously, with missionary monks never heard from again.
"Our ways, our beliefs, our entire lives are very different from those of our northern neighbors," Agronguerre went on, "and yet we found strength in unity against the minions of Bestesbulzibar, curse his very name; and from that necessary moment of peace, we found more to agree upon than ever we would have believed possible. And so I see our current situation within our own Order. We are faced now with the task of understanding the tragedy of Father Abbot Markwart, his reign and his demise, and with understanding the truth of Mount Aida, and of Avelyn Desbris. How widely opinions differ on this point and on this lost brother, Avelyn! Some would proclaim him saint; others, heretic. But there is a truth out there, my brethren, one that we, as a united Church, must discover and embrace, wherever it leads us."
He went on for many minutes, recalling his own anger at the fate of Jojonah, speaking of Abbot Braumin and the others who claimed to have witnessed the miracle at the blasted mountain. He spoke of the relationship of Church and Crown, of the encroachment made on both independent forces in the battle-torn city of Palmaris, and the continuing struggle that Abbot Braumin now faced with Duke Kalas.
And then Agronguerre, after a pause and a most profound sigh, came around to the most pressing issue of all. He asked for a moment of silent prayer for Abbess Delenia, who had been a friend to so many of those in attendance and who had served the Church with honor and distinction for more than three decades.
" It appears that our hour of darkness has not yet passed," he said quietly. "Upon its discovery by Master Francis, the other masters wisely dispatched one of their own to the south to investigate rumors of the return of the rosy plague. Well, my brethren, those rumors seem well-founded. Master De'Unnero has reported the disaster at St. Gwendolyn, where the plague has devastated the ranks of our brethren, where pitiful refugees have crowded the fields around the abbey, begging for relief that we have no power to give. Let us pray, each of us, that the plague is restricted to that region, that it will not encompass the world as it did in centuries past, and that its presence in our time will be short indeed."
He finished with a recitation of the entire litany of prayers, where all the gathered brothers joined in, and then opened the floor for comments.
And how they came pouring in, opinions from every quarter concerning how the Church should deal with the rosy plague. Some called for the complete isolation of the Mantis Arm-though Francis was quick to remind them that Davon Dinnishire lay between St.-Mere-Abelle and Palmaris, far from there. Others called for the immediate isolation of every abbey, barring the doors, holding masses outside with presiding monks standing atop gate towers and the like. On and on it went, with no practical answers, only suggestions wrought of abject terror. Father Abbot Agronguerre listened to them all attentively, hopefully, but all that he came away with was the understanding that this budding crisis was far beyond them, was something that only God could alleviate. The last call of that day, from the Father Abbot at the podium, was for all of them, for every brother in the Abellican Church and the few remaining sisters, to pray for guidance and for relief.
It seemed a meager weapon to the gathering of a Church that had just battled the armies of Bestesbulzibar, to monks who had used mighty gemstone magic to fell giants and powries by the score.
But it was all they had.
"I was no better a guest than you were a host, Father Abbot," a blushing Brother Dellman responded after Agronguerre spoke highly of him to Abbot Braumin that evening after vespers.
"You were more than a guest," the new Father Abbot replied. "In your short time in Vanguard, you became as family to us of St. Belfour."
Dellman searched for a reply, but merely bowed his head.
"Which is why I have asked you to join me at this time," Agronguerre went on to Dellman and particularly to Abbot Braumin.
"Brother Dellman's integrity and graciousness come as no surprise to me, Father Abbot," Braumin Herde replied, but there was an edge to his voice, telling Agronguerre that he understood where this was leading.
Given that, the Father Abbot got right to the point. "I know how valuable a companion Brother Dellman has been to you," he said, "and I do appreciate your work in Palmaris at this troubled and delicate time, but I have answered the call of my Church at great risk to St. Belfour. Brother Haney, who will soon become abbot of St. Belfour, is an excellent man indeed, and I could not have asked for a more suitable replacement."
"But..." Abbot Braumin prompted, looking at Dellman.
"He is all alone," Agronguerre answered. "Almost all the other brothers at St. Belfour are young and inexperienced, and though Prince Midalis is certainly a friend of the Church, the new alliance with the barbarians of Alpinador will place great demands on the abbot of St. Belfour. I think it prudent to give our young abbot a strong ally and a voice of experience and wisdom."
"Surely there are others m-more qualified than I," Brother Dellman stammered, obviously overwhelmed. His tone showed that he was not upset about the request, just stunned. "Masters from St.-Mere-Abelle."
"Abbot Braumin," Father Abbot Agronguerre said with a great sigh, "I know not in which of the masters here I can place my trust. Nor do I know any of them well enough to guess if they could tolerate the hardships of Vanguard. Master Francis comes to mind, of course, for he seems the most worldly of the group, but I believe from all that I have heard-from your own Brother Dellman-that I should keep Master Francis close at hand for a time."
"An assessment with which I heartily agree," said Braumin.
"Then?" Father Abbot Agronguerre asked. "Will you lend your friend Brother Dellman to Brother Haney and St. Belfour? "
Braumin turned to Dellman. "What say you, brother? This is your life we are discussing, after all, and I would say that you have earned your choice of abbeys. Will you return with me to St. Precious or sail north for Vanguard?"
Dellman seemed completely at a loss. He started to answer several times, but stopped and merely shook his head. "Which would be of greater service to my Church?" he asked.
"St. Belfour," Abbot Braumin said before the new Father Abbot could answer. He looked directly at Dellman as he spoke, staring into the younger man's eyes, showing his sincerity.
Dellman turned to the new Father Abbot and nodded. " I go where my Church most needs me, Father Abbot," he said. "And, truly, I would be glad in my heart to spend more time in Vanguard, to learn more of the folk and of the good brothers of St. Belfour."
"I will sorely miss him in Palmaris," Abbot Braumin remarked. "Brother Dellman was among the wisest of advisers and the most steadfast of supporters during the ordeal of Father Abbot Markwart's last days."
"You make my heart glad, then," the Father Abbot said, "and this will not merely be to the bene£t of St. Belfour and our friend Brother Haney. Up there in wild Vanguard, you will attain the rank of master very quickly, perhaps within a few months."
"I am not nearly prepared," Brother Dellman replied.
"You are more prepared than most who attain the rank," Abbot Braumin was quick to put in, "and more prepared than I, certainly, in the role God has now chosen me to play."
"Vanguard is not thick with brethren," the Father Abbot said. "And St. Belfour at this time, as in so many times, is without masters. I will send word to Brother Haney to rectify that situation as soon as he is established as abbot."
Abbot Braumin nodded his agreement, his smile wide; and Brother Dellman, too, was beaming.
"Now for a less pleasing matter," Father Abbot Agronguerre announced. He rose from his chair, motioning for Abbot Braumin alone to follow him into an adjoining room, where several masters and abbots were waiting, including Francis, Bou-raiy, Glendenhook, and Machuso.
"I had asked Abbot Je'howith to join us, as well," Agronguerre remarked to them all, taking his seat at the head of the table and motioning for Braumin to sit right beside him-again a subtle but distinct hint about his attitude concerning the last days of Markwart's reign. "But he has already departed, well on his way back to Ursal and St. Honce."
Abbot Braumin nodded, recognizing that he understood that departure better than did the new Father Abbot. Braumin knew, and Je'howith knew, that they now had gathered to discuss the disposition of Marcalo De'Unnero. Abbot Je'howith, so tied to Markwart, certainly wanted no part of this potential battle.
And it did become a battle, immediately.
"He has declared himself abbot of St. Gwendolyn," Master Fio Bou-raiy spouted angrily, "an unprecedented act of arrogance."
"Or of necessity," Master Machuso, ever the peacemaker, put in.
"St. Gwendolyn is traditionally led by an abbess, not an abbot," one of the lesser abbots argued.
"That may be true enough," Father Abbot Agronguerre conceded, "but by Master De'Unnero's words, there are no suitable women to take the position at this time. All but one of the sovereign sisters are dead, and the remaining one has become ill."
"Or had her heart removed by a tiger's paw," Master Bou-raiy remarked under his breath but loud enough for several seated near him, including Agronguerre and Braumin Herde, to hear.
"Interim abbot, then?" Machuso innocently asked.
"No!" Bou-raiy flatly declared, pounding his fist on the table. He turned to Agronguerre. "Deny him this, I beg of you. His record is one of destruction, and if the plague is thick in the southland, St. Gwendolyn will be key to holding the common folk loyal to the Church."
Surprised by the forcefulness of the master's argument, Agronguerre looked to Abbot Braumin, who, in turn, motioned to Master Francis. "You served beside him," Braumin said. "You know him better than any other in this room."
Francis narrowed his eyes as he stared hard at Braumin, obviously not pleased to be so put on the spot. "We were never friends," Francis said evenly.
"But you followed him to Palmaris and served in positions vacated by Master De'Unnero," Father Abbot Agronguerre reasoned.
"True enough," Francis conceded. "Yet I want it made clear here before I speak my opinion that you all understand that I harbor little friendship for Master Marcalo De'Unnero and that I would have preferred to remain silent on this matter.
"But I have been asked, and so I will answer," Francis went on quietly. "Master De'Unnero's record in Palmaris was less than exemplary. The people there would not have him back, I am sure."
"They would have him on a gallows," Abbot Braumin remarked. "Indeed, I requested that he leave the city because his mere presence within St. Precious was bringing us disdain that bolstered Duke Kalas."
"But Master De'Unnero is not known in the region of St. Gwendolyn," Master Machuso pressed. "Can we presume that his actions in Palmaris were at the explicit instructions of Father Abbot Markwart and, thus, are mistakes that will not be repeated? "
"A dangerous assumption," Master Glendenhook replied.
"Am I to replace him? " Agronguerre asked distastefully. It was obvious to all in attendance that the gentle man did not want his first official act in office to be one of division. And yet, given the mood of all around him, of masters as diverse as Bou-raiy and Francis-obviously not in any alliancewhat choice did Father Abbot Agronguerre have?
"Recall him," Master Bou-raiy said determinedly. "We will not find it a difficult task to find a more suitable abbot or abbess for St. Gwendolyn, I assure you."
That call was seconded by many about the table, including Abbot Braumin, who made a note to speak with the new Father Abbot at length about his true feelings concerning Marcalo De'Unnero-the man, in Braumin's honest opinion, who posed the greatest threat of all to the Abellican Church.
Father Abbot Agronguerre took in all the nods and calls with a resigned nod of his head. Yes, the year would end on a grave note, Agronguerre realized, and given the confirmation of the rosy plague, he doubted that the next year would be any better.
Part 3
Where is the balance, I wonder, between community and self? When does the assertion of one's personal needs become mere selfishness?
These are questions that followed me to Dundalis, to haunt me every day. So many hopes and dreams were placed upon me, so many people believing that I somehow magically possessed the power to change their world for the better. If I had fought that battle, I believe that not only wouldIhave accomplished little, and perhaps nothing lasting, but also I would have completed the destruction of myself that the wretch Markwart began in the dungeons of St.-Mere-Abelle when he murdered my parents; that he continued on the field outside Palmaris, when he stole from me my child; and then, in Chasewind Manor, when he wounded me deeply and when he took from me my husband, my love. This was my fear, and it chased me out of Palmaris, chased me home to a quieter place.
But what if I was wrong? What if my efforts might have had some impact upon the lives of so many deserving innocents? What obligation, what responsibility, is then incumbent upon me?
Ever since I first witnessed Elbryan at his morning routine of bi'nelle dasada, I longed to learn it and to understand all the lessons that he had been taught by the Touel'alfar. I wanted to be a ranger, as was he. But now, in retrospect, I wonder if I am possessed of that same generous spirit. I learned the sword dance, and attained a level of mastery in it strong enough to complement Elbryan's own, but those other qualities of the ranger, I fear, cannot be taught. They must be a part of the heart and soul, and there, perhaps, is my failing. Elbryanno, not Elbryan, but Vightbird-so willingly threw himself into my battle with Markwart, though he was already grievously wounded and knew that doing so would surely cost him his very life. Yet he did it, without question, without fear, and without remorse because he was a ranger, because he knew that ridding the world of the demon that possessed the father Abbot of the Abellican Church was paramount, a greater responsibility than that of protecting his own flesh and blood.
I, too, went at Markwart with every ounce of my strength and willpower, but my motive at that time was not generosity of spirit but simple rage and the belief that the demon had already taken everything from me. Would I have been so willing to begin that battle if I understood that it would cost me the only thing I had remaining? If I knew that Elbryan, my dearest husband, would be lost to me forever?
I doubt that I would.
And now, with all those questions burning my every thought, I came north to the quiet Timberlands to find peace within myself. But this, I fear, is yet another of life's twisted and cruel paradoxes. I am moving toward inner peace now-I feel it keenly-but what awaits me when at last I attain that level of calm? When I find the end of turmoil, willIfind, as well, the end of meaning? Will inner peace be accompanied by nothing more than emptiness?
And yet, what is the other option? The person who strives for peace of community instead of inner peace must find just the opposite, I fear, an unattainable goal. For there will always be trouble of one sort or another. A tyrant, a war, a despotic landowner, a thief in the alley, a misguided father abbot. There is no paradise in this existence for creatures as complex as human beings. There is no perfect human world, bereft of strife and battle of one sort or another.
I know that now, or at least I fear it profoundly. And with that knowledge came the sense of futility, of running up a mud-slick steep slope, only to slide back over and over again.
Will the new father Abbot be any better than the previous one? Likely, since those electing him will be cautious to seek certain generous qualities. But what about the next after that, and after that? It will, it must, come back to Markwart, I fear; and, given that, how can I see anything more than the futility of sacrifice?
And, given that, how can I agree with Elbryan's gift of his own life?
And so here I am, in Dundalis, the place quiet and buried in deep snow as the world drifts into God's Year 828. How I long/or seasons far past, for those early years when Elbryan and I ran about Dundalis, oblivious of goblins and demons and men like father Abbot Dalebert Markwart!
Perhaps the greatest thing of all that has been stolen from me over these years was my innocence. I see the world too clearly, with all of its soiled corners.
With all of its cairns over buried heroes.