“I knew there was something wrong.” He stared at me with such sorrow and pain in his eyes it hurt to look into them. “The way Cary went to sit beside you when Detective Graves said Nathan Barker’s name … I knew you weren’t telling me something. I kept hoping you would.”
“I’ve tried very hard to put Nathan in my past. You were one of the few things in my life he hadn’t infected. I wanted to keep it that way.”
His grip on my hand tightened. “Tell me the truth. Are you okay?”
“Dad. I’m the same daughter you came to see a couple weeks ago. The same daughter who hung out with you in San Diego. I’m okay.”
“You were pregnant—” His voice broke and a tear slid down his cheek.
I brushed it away, ignoring my own. “And I will be again someday. Maybe more than once. Maybe you’ll be crawling with grandkids.”
“Come here.”
Leaning across the console, he hugged me. We sat in the car for a long time, crying. Getting it out.
Was Gideon watching the security feeds, sending me silent support? It gave me comfort to think he might be.
DINNER out that night wasn’t quite as boisterous a meal as usual for Cary, my dad, and me, but it wasn’t as grim as I’d feared it might be. The food was great, the wine better, and Cary was snarking out.
“She was worse than Tatiana,” he said, talking about the model he’d shared the shoot with that day. “She kept going on about her ‘good side,’ which I personally thought was her ass as it walked out the door.”
“You’ve done shoots with Tatiana?” I asked, then explained to my dad, “She’s a girl Cary’s seeing.”
“Oh, yeah.” Cary licked red wine off his lower lip. “We work together a lot, actually. I’m the Tatiana Tamer. She starts one of her fits and I calm her down.”
“How do— Never mind,” I said quickly. “I don’t want to know how.”
“You already know.” He winked.
I looked at my dad and rolled my eyes.
“How about you, Victor?” Cary asked around a bite of sautéed mushroom. “You seeing anyone?”
My dad shrugged. “Nothing serious.”
That was by his choice. I’d seen how women acted around him—they fell all over themselves trying to get his attention. My dad was hot, with an amazing body, gorgeous face, and Latin sensuality. He had his pick of women and I knew he wasn’t a saint, but he never seemed to meet anyone who really got to him. I’d recently realized that was because my mother had gotten there first.
“You think you’ll ever have more kids?” Cary asked him, surprising me with the question.
I’d long ago become resigned to being an only child.
My dad shook his head. “Not that I’m opposed to the idea, but Eva is more than I ever thought I’d have in my life.” He looked at me with so much love it made my throat tight. “And she’s perfect. Everything I could ever hope for. I’m not sure there’s room in my heart for anyone else.”
“Aw, Daddy.” I leaned my head into his shoulder, so glad he was with me, even if it was for the worst possible reason.
When we got back to the apartment, we decided to watch a movie before calling it a night. I went to my room to change and was stoked to find a gorgeous bouquet of white roses on my dresser. The card, written in Gideon’s distinctive bold penmanship, made me almost giddy.
I’M THINKING OF YOU, AS ALWAYS.
AND I’M HERE.
YOURS, G.
I sat on the bed, hugging the card, certain he was thinking of me that very moment. It was also starting to sink in that he’d been thinking of me every moment of the weeks we’d been apart, too.
That night, I fell asleep on the couch after watching Dredd. I woke briefly to the feeling of being lifted and carried to my room, smiling sleepily as my dad tucked me into bed like a child and kissed my forehead.
“Love you, Daddy,” I murmured.
“Love you, too, sweetheart.”
I woke up before my alarm the next morning and felt better than I had in a long while. I left a note on the breakfast bar telling my dad to call me if he wanted to get together for lunch. I wasn’t sure if he had anything planned for the day. I knew Cary had a shoot in the afternoon.
During the cab ride to work, I answered a text from Shawna squeeing over her brother’s engagement to Mark. So happy for all of u, I texted back.
I’m drafting u! she shot back.
I smiled down at my phone. What’s that? Signal’s breaking up … Can’t read u …
As the cab stopped in front of the Crossfire, the sight of the Bentley at the curb gave me the usual thrill. When I hopped out, I peeked into the front seat and waved when I saw Angus sitting inside.
He stepped out, setting his chauffeur hat on his head. Like Clancy, you couldn’t tell he was carrying a sidearm by looking at him; he wore it so comfortably.
“Good morning, Miss Tramell,” he greeted me. Although he wasn’t a young man and his red hair was liberally threaded with silver, I’d never had any doubts about Angus’s ability to protect Gideon.
“Hi, Angus. It’s good to see you.”
“You’re looking lovely today.”
I glanced down at my pale yellow dress. I’d chosen it because it was bright and cheery, which was the impression I wanted my dad to have of me. “Thank you. I hope your day rocks.” I backed up toward the revolving door. “See you later!”
His pale blue eyes were kind as he tipped his hat to me.
When I got upstairs, I found Megumi looking more like her usual self. Her smile was wide and real, and her eyes had the sparkle I enjoyed seeing every morning.
I stopped by her desk. “How are you?”
“Good. Michael’s meeting me for lunch and I’m ending it. Nice and civilized.”
“That’s a killer outfit you’ve got on,” I told her, admiring the emerald green dress she wore. It was fitted and had leather piping that gave it just the right amount of edge.
She stood and showed off her knee-high boots.
“Very Kalinda Sharma,” I said. “He’s going to be scrambling to hold on to you.”
“As if,” she scoffed. “These boots were made for walking. He didn’t call me back until last night, which made it nearly four days without contact. Not totally unreasonable, but I’m ready to find a guy who’s crazy about me. A guy who thinks about me as much as I’m thinking about him and hates it when we can’t be together.”
I nodded, thinking about Gideon. “It’s worth it to hold out for one. Do you want me to give you a bailout phone call during your lunch?”
She grinned. “Nah. But thank you.”
“All right. Let me know if you change your mind.”
I headed back to my desk and dug right in to work, determined to get ahead to make up for leaving early the day before. Mark was fired up, too, segueing from work only long enough to tell me that Steven had a binder full of wedding ideas he’d been collecting for years.
“Why am I not surprised?” I said.
“I shouldn’t be.” Mark’s mouth curved with affection. “He’s kept it in his office all this time so I wouldn’t know about it.”
“Did you get a look at it?”
“He went through the whole thing with me. It took hours.”
“You’re going to have the wedding of the century,” I teased.
“Yeah.” The word held more than a little exasperation, but his expression remained so happy I couldn’t stop smiling.
My dad called just before eleven.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he said, in reply to my usual work greeting. “How’s your day going?”
“Great.” I leaned back in my chair and looked at the picture of him. “How’d you sleep?”
“Hard. I’m still trying to wake up.”
“Why? Go back to bed and be lazy.”
“I wanted to let you know that I’m going to take a rain check on lunch. We’ll get together tomorrow. Today, I need to talk to your mom.”
“Oh.” I knew that tone. It was the same one he used when he pulled people over, that perfect mixture of authority and disapproval. “Listen. I’m not going to step in the middle of this with you two. You’re both adults and I’m not picking sides. But I have to say that Mom wanted to tell you.”
“She should have.”
“She was alone,” I pressed on, my feet tapping restlessly on the carpet, “going through a divorce and the trial against Nathan, and dealing with my recovery. I’m sure she desperately wanted a shoulder to lean on—you know how she is. But she was drowning in guilt. I could’ve gotten her to agree to anything then, and I did.”
He was quiet on the other end of the line.
“I just want you to keep that in mind when you talk to her,” I finished.
“All right. When will you be home?”
“A little after five. Want to go to the gym? Or back to Parker’s studio?”
“Let me see how I’m feeling when you get in,” he said.
“Okay.” I forced myself to ignore how anxious I was over the upcoming conversation between my parents. “Call me if you need anything.”
We hung up and I got back to work, grateful for the distraction.
When lunch rolled around, I decided to grab something quick and bring it back to my desk to work through the hour. I braved the midday sauna outside to hit the local Duane Reade for a bag of beef jerky and a bottled health drink. I’d skipped my workouts pretty frequently since Gideon and I had gotten back together, and I figured it was time to pay a penalty for that.
I was debating the wisdom of sending Gideon an “I’m thinking of you” note when I twirled through the revolving front door of the Crossfire. Just a little something to say thanks for the flowers, which had made a tough day more bearable.