Bittersweet and aching, it flooded her body, tightening until she came apart into a million tiny pieces.
As she came down, she became aware of him stroking her back, his fingers running through her hair as he murmured softly in her ear.
She lay atop him for a long moment, cuddled in his arms as he continued to stroke her. She knew it was late. Far later than they’d dared before. He would have to go soon.
As if following her thoughts, Alaric stirred beneath her. He gripped her and rolled until he was once more atop her, still buried deeply in her body.
He stared down at her, his eyes earnest and dark. “I love you too, Keeley. If I can give you nothing else, let me give you these words.”
She bit the inside of her lip to prevent more tears from sliding down her cheeks. Instead she kissed him, just one reverent, loving kiss to his lips.
“You must go now,” she whispered. “Before we are found.”
“Aye. Lay here awhile and rest. If Mairin has need of you, I’ll send someone for you. Until then, enjoy the rest.”
She smiled and pulled the furs up as he slid from her body and backed from the bed. He dressed in silence and then left the room, pausing at the doorway for a long, heated glance back in her direction.
It was only after he’d long gone from her chamber, that she realized he’d spilled his seed inside her.
She closed her eyes, hopeful and dreading all at once. She had no wish for a child of hers to ever bear the stigma of being a bastard, but at the same time, she knew that if she were to become pregnant, it would be the only child she’d ever bear.
She rolled onto her side and clutched the covers tightly to her breast. “I don’t know what to do,” she whispered tearfully. “I love him. I want him. I want his children and yet all those things are forbidden me.”
She closed her eyes and allowed the hot tears to disappear into the covers. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t cry. That she’d be brave when the time came. But more and more she knew she was deluding herself. For when it came time for Alaric to marry another, it would destroy her.
CHAPTER 28
Keeley took her time dressing. She was in no hurry to go belowstairs and allow the dreamlike haze that surrounded her to evaporate once she greeted reality.
She hummed softly to herself as she braided her hair and then she straightened the furs on her bed. After giving the pillow a final pat, she turned and exited the chamber.
’Twas positively late, and she allowed herself a lusty yawn as she descended the stairs. It was a good day to stay indoors and enjoy the company of the other women. Mairin was becoming increasingly more restless as the days went by.
She was three steps from the bottom when the noise from the hall filtered to her ears. Frowning, she braced her hand against the wall and peered around to see what was about.
“Laird McDonald approaches our gates,” the herald announced as Ewan stood before him.
Keeley gasped and faltered down the remaining steps. She stood rigid as she stared across the room to where Alaric stood with his brothers receiving the news.
“He brings his daughter and asks that you receive him in good faith.”
Ewan nodded at the messenger. “Aye, tell him he may pass. I’ll greet him in the courtyard.”
He turned and barked out several orders. Serving women scattered in all directions as they set about preparing the table for refreshment.
Keeley stared numbly at Alaric, feeling as if her entire world had crumbled at her feet. Then he looked up and caught her stare.
His gaze was raw and expressed all the turmoil that rolled within her.
She should be strong. She should be a better person. She should be able to stand tall as if she didn’t have a care in the world. She was none of those things. She couldn’t face her childhood friend or the man who’d attacked her. She couldn’t face the woman who would have the man she loved.
Covering her mouth to squelch the mounting sob, she whirled and fled back up the stairs.
Alaric watched Keeley rush back up the stairs and he turned away, not trusting himself not to go after her.
“What is McDonald doing here?” he hissed. “He isn’t supposed to be here until closer to spring, after Mairin’s child is delivered.”
“I don’t know,” Ewan said grimly. “I intend to find out. ’Tis possible he received a missive from our king as well. He would be eager to do his bidding.”
Alaric dragged a hand through his hair. The noose was tightening around his neck. Maybe he’d been living in denial of his reality. He’d pushed thoughts of his marriage to Rionna from his mind, content to savor each night in Keeley’s arms.
Now … now his future was upon him, and Keeley was part of his past.
“ ’Tis better to have done with it,” Ewan murmured.
He cringed at the sympathy in Ewan’s voice and the disgust on Caelen’s face. Alaric straightened his stance and pushed back his anguish.
“Let us go greet him,” he said quietly.
Ewan tucked Mairin’s hand in his and then pulled her into his embrace. “Wait here, sweeting, where ’tis warm and you’re comfortable. Have the women attend you and stay off your feet.”
He rubbed his hand over her burgeoning belly and kissed her one last time before he turned to Alaric.
Mairin frowned unhappily in Alaric’s direction as he and his brothers left the hall to go greet the McDonalds.
The entire way out, Alaric wondered how he could pretend not to loathe the bastard. How was he supposed to stand in front of the man, embrace him and his clan, promise to care for his daughter, and assume the mantle of leadership when McDonald stepped down?
He wanted to spit in his eye and run him through with a sword on the spot. What kind of man preyed on a young girl barely past the cusp of womanhood? Who allowed her to shoulder the blame for his lust and be cast out of her clan by a jealous wife?
He couldn’t dwell on the matter because his fury mounted with each breath.
“Ease your expression,” Caelen murmured. “You look murderous.”
“ ’Tis disgraceful what he did to Keeley.”
Caelen’s brows drew together. The brothers stopped just inside the open gateway to await the approach of the McDonald riders.
“What is this you speak of?” Caelen demanded.
Alaric shook his head. “ ’Tis not your matter.”
“Still, I would know what manner of man he is before I blindly ally myself with him,” Caelen responded.
“ ’Tis not him you ally yourself with,” Ewan cut in. “ ’Tis your brother for he will be laird.” He glanced sharply at Alaric as he spoke. “I know you care for Keeley, but much rides on this alliance. Pull yourself together lest war be declared.”
Ewan took a step forward as the McDonald riders appeared over the hillside in the distance. When Alaric would have done so himself, Caelen caught him by the arm and pulled him back.
“What do you speak of?”
Alaric’s nostrils flared and his lips tightened. “He molested her when she was but a girl barely grown. His wife came upon them before he could rape her but cried her a whore and had her cast from the clan. She’s been on her own ever since.”
Caelen went silent. His jaw twitched, but he said nothing, as he stared ahead to the approaching riders.
Alaric took in a deep breath as McDonald and his daughter rode up side by side. She was first to slide from her saddle, and his brow rose when he saw that she was dressed in men’s attire. ’Twas scandalous for a woman to be dressed thusly, and yet she didn’t appear to have a care over the matter.
She boldly met his gaze, her golden eyes glinting in the sun.
Gregor McDonald dismounted with a grunt and pressed his lips together in displeasure as he approached his daughter.
“Ewan,” he greeted with a nod of acknowledgment.
“Gregor,” Ewan returned.
“You’ve met my daughter. Have a good look at the woman you wed with, Alaric,” Gregor tossed in Alaric’s direction.
“Rionna,” Alaric said as he bowed his head respectfully.
Rionna offered an awkward curtsy in return then glanced over to where Caelen and Ewan stood.
Knowing it was expected of him to court the lass while she was here—nay, until they married—he extended his hand to her.
For a moment she stared back at him with genuine confusion before her cheeks colored and she slipped her hand into his. He pulled it to his lips and brushed his lips across her knuckles.
“ ’Tis my pleasure, my lady.”
She cleared her throat and pulled her hand back, her discomfort keen.
“My lady wife is eager to see you again, Rionna,” Ewan said. “She waits inside. Her time is near and she rests, but she wished me to convey her desire for you to go to her at your leisure.”
“Thank you. I’m eager to see her again,” Rionna said in a low voice. She glanced uncomfortably at Alaric again before walking past him toward the entrance to the keep.
Ewan turned to Gregor as soon as Rionna disappeared within. He stood, arms crossed as he stared down at the older man.
“You sent no word of your arrival. It was my understanding you were coming closer to spring after Mairin had delivered our babe.”
Gregor had the grace to look discomfited by Ewan’s bluntness. “With the break in the weather, it only made sense to make our journey sooner. ’Tis possible if the weather worsens, we wouldn’t be able to make the journey until the spring, and I wished to seal our alliance at the first opportunity.”
He blew out his breath and looked uneasily at Ewan. “I hear rumor that Cameron is gathering men and that he allies himself with Malcolm. David doesn’t have the strength to win a war against the combined force of Malcolm and Cameron. If Cameron turns his sights on my lands or those of the neighboring clans, we won’t be able to hold up under his might. An alliance is our only chance to defeat him.
“ ’Tis the truth, Ewan, that the whole of the highlands holds their breath in anticipation of the heir to Neamh Álainn. That holding is at the heart of our stronghold. With the McCabes in control, we form an impenetrable wall that even Cameron will be unable to defeat.”
Alaric listened to the laird’s words with a sinking heart. ’Twas true, all of it. His marriage to Rionna was crucial, for not only did it seal an alliance between the McDonalds and the McCabes, but it would pull neighboring clans into that alliance. Clans that were otherwise afraid to defy Cameron—or choose the wrong side of the battle for the throne.
“Then you’ve come because you want the marriage soon.”
Gregor nodded. “As soon as it can be arranged.”
“Rionna is agreeable to this?” Ewan asked.
Gregor’s lips twisted. “She is my daughter. She knows her duty. She will agree.”
Ewan cast a long look at Alaric, almost as if he could reach inside his brother’s head and pluck out his thoughts. Alaric hated that look. Hated knowing his brother pitied him.
“Are you willing, Alaric?” Ewan asked quietly.
Alaric swallowed. At his sides, his fingers curled slowly into tight balls. Then he looked up at his future father by marriage—a man from whom he’d take over the position of laird.
It was the hardest words he’d ever speak, but his brother, his king, Mairin, his clan … they were all depending on him.
And so he spoke the words that would force the woman he loved from his life.
“Aye. I’m willing.”
CHAPTER 29
“I cannot face her.”
Keeley whirled around to stare out her window, ignoring the chill that leaked into her chamber.
Maddie sighed and then walked up behind Keeley to slide an arm around her. “I know ’tis painful for you, lass. But there is naught to gain from hiding. Sooner or later you’ll have to come out. Mairin is due to have her babe any day now. You can’t miss that.”
“ ’Tis bad enough I once called her friend, but now I must stand aside and watch her marry Alaric. And Laird McDonald.” She shuddered and closed her eyes. “How can I look at him after what he’s done?”
Maddie gripped her arm and turned her around. “Come sit, lass. I want a word with you.”
Numbly, Keeley followed Maddie over to the bed and sank onto the edge. The older woman settled next to her and then took her hand.
“You’ve done nothing wrong. You have nothing to be ashamed of. ’Tis the laird’s sin and he’ll answer to God for it in the end.”
“I shouldn’t be here,” Keeley said with a moan. “ ’Tis such a tangled mess. I gave myself to a man I can’t have. The man who is to marry a woman I used to call sister. And yet I sit here angry with her and her father. I’m not blameless when it comes to wrong.”
Maddie wrapped her arms around Keeley and rocked back and forth. “ ’Tis true you’re in an impossible situation. I don’t dispute that. But you have to know that Laird McCabe won’t allow any harm to come to you. Alaric won’t allow it either. You’re safe. Laird McDonald can do you no harm, and ’tis the truth, lass, he’ll likely pretend he knows you not.”