His hand moved to my neck, stroking up and down.
“I see a thousand nights of kitchen counters, showers, pools, and couches where he’s going to f**k her until she screams.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “I see her eyes and how they look when she comes.”
My ni**les hardened, and I had to start sucking in air. Opening my eyes, I could see his blue ones, shining like crystals, watching me.
“I see the guy that went so crazy when she left that he tore all of the shit off his walls, thinking she hated him.”
My face cracked, and my eyes watered; the lump in my throat had grown too big for me to swallow around.
“Madoc—”
“I see,” he cut me off, trailing his hand over my stomach and into my lacy top, “the body he sucked rain off of last night and he wants in his mouth right now, because, baby, you are torturing him.”
He leaned in, kissing my upper arm in soft, sensual kisses, trailing over to my back. He flipped my hair over my shoulder, digging his lips into my spine and going up as I dropped my head back onto his shoulder.
“Madoc . . .” I gasped, tingles spreading down my back.
His lips . . . oh, my God, his lips.
His hands were both under my slip-bra, kneading and squeezing as I started rolling my h*ps into him.
“Goddamn, look at you.” His breathless voice made my sex clench.
I opened my eyes, seeing what he saw.
A young woman in lingerie, sitting on a man’s lap backward with his hands up her shirt. Our eyes met, and the heat made me want to tear him apart with my teeth. I wanted him.
Fuck, I wanted him.
Snuggling my head into his, I kept my eyes on him in the mirror as I reached down and slipped my hand inside my panties. His eyes became as sharp as needles as he watched me. I spread my legs and gently ran my fingers up and down my heat, watching him watching me.
He leaned back, continuing to stroke my back with one hand while he just took me in.
Having his eyes on me, having him so interested, was doing things to my body I didn’t expect. Madoc always used to be in a hurry, and then last night was pedal to the metal.
But now he looked like he owned the room. He looked like I was his and he wasn’t rushing to have me before the sun came up.
Standing up, I slid my hands down the sides of my panties and slipped them off, letting them slide down my legs. His hands fisted where they hung off the armrests, and I saw him harden through his pants. His body needed me, and the pulse on my cl*t throbbed. One time. Two times. Three.
Damn. Everything about Madoc was intense and made me feel good.
“I . . .” I wanted to tell him that I didn’t hate him. That I thought about him. That I was sorry. But the words won’t come. “Madoc, I . . .” I let out a breath. “I want you here.”
And I sat down in his lap backward, facing the mirror. “I want you like this.”
A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, and then I gasped as he put a hand on the front of my neck and pulled me back to him.
Our lips came together, moving over each other. Then I reached around and slid my fingers into his soft, short hair, kissing him as if it was the only thing I ever needed to survive. His hand slid down my stomach, and I spread both of my legs to rest on the outside of his thighs.
“Madoc,” I whispered, pleading. “I’m burning already.”
I took his hand and led it between my thighs, sucking in a breath when his fingers slid inside of me.
Oh, God, yes.
His fingers moved, my wetness easing him in and out, but the fire in my belly had me so hungry I started rubbing into his hand.
“Madoc.”
“I love it when you say my name.” His head fell back, and his chest rose more quickly. He looked like he was enjoying this although I wasn’t touching him. He just liked touching me that much?
My h*ps rocked into his hand, and for the first time in two years, I wanted things. I wanted this. I wanted him. I wanted it all again.
But I knew I couldn’t have it. I knew this was it for us.
This was the last time he’d make love to me. The last time I’d kiss him.
The last time he’d want me.
And I wanted to bury my face in my hands and scream that I didn’t have to do this. I didn’t have to walk away, but there was just too much between us to get past.
Instead I stood up and turned around, straddling his lap and facing him.
Running my fingers down the side of his face, I kept my voice quiet for fear I wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears. “I want to see you.” My throat ached so hard I could barely whisper. “I want to kiss you when you come.”
I leaned up on my knees, giving him room to push his pants down. Before he kicked them off, I reached into his pocket for the condom.
He smiled. “How’d you know that was in there?”
“Because you’re a confident son of a bitch,” I whispered huskily, not sounding sarcastic in the least.
I shoved the condom into his hand before wrapping my hungry arms around his neck and kissing him hard. His lips worked mine, and we didn’t lose the connection when he worked behind my back to get the condom on. Rocking my hips, I rubbed against his thick hardness, feeling the burn get heavier and heavier as the pulse in my cl*t pounded harder and harder.
“Now, Fallon,” he breathed out, letting his head fall back on the chair. I hesitated, hearing my name. He used to call me “baby.”
“Say my name again.” I sat down on his cock, and we both closed our eyes with the sensation.
I was filled.
“Fallon,” he gasped.
“Who’s kissing you right now?” I trailed soft kisses along his jaw, slowly sucking and biting until he moaned.
“Jesus,” he groaned.
“Not Jesus.”
He laughed. “Fallon.” And he put his head up and looked straight at me as I slowly moved up and down his length.
Up so slowly, watching his eyes as he watched my body move on him.
And back down, taking him in, amazed how his lids would close with the sensation. I’d never done this before. I was never on top, and he felt so good like this.
I mean, he always felt good, but the angle of him in the chair got him so deep.
I could feel him rubbing the walls of my womb. That piercing made me want to slow down and speed up, but it also made me never want to stop.
“Who’s riding you?” I held his face, my thumbs on his cheeks and fingers at the back of his neck.
“Fallon.” It seeped out of his mouth like a bullet in slow motion. My breath caught in my throat as he wrapped his arms around my waist and shot up, guiding my legs around his body. Air rushed in and out of my lips as he just stood there, his mouth touching mine. “You don’t get to win this game, Fallon. Though I like how you play.”
He slammed me up against the mirror, sinking his mouth into mine before letting my legs fall. God, his kiss stole my breath, but I didn’t care that I couldn’t breathe.
As soon as my feet touched the ground, he spun me around and cupped both of my br**sts, burying his mouth in my neck.
I watched him in the mirror, and I no longer gave a damn about owning him or dominating him.
Although I wanted to control this, it was clear I wasn’t in control now. Until he said, “Why do you drive me so crazy, Fallon?” His breath was ragged, and his hands and lips moved rough and fast. “Why does it have to be you?”
And that’s when I realized he wasn’t trying to dominate me. He was desperate.
I was in control.
“Madoc,” I whispered, turning my head and melting my lips into his.
Breaking away, I widened my legs and leaned forward into the mirror. “Please, I need you.” I could feel the heat of him on the inside of my leg.
Madoc positioned himself and slid into me. I bit my lip at the sweet pain of his depth.
“So good.” It was barely a whisper as I felt the rest of my insides fall apart around his thick length inside of me.
And then he closed his eyes and laid his head back, his voice shaky. “You’re going to ruin me, Fallon.”
No more than you ruined me.
CHAPTER 13
FALLON
I try to pull my hand free from her grasp. “Mom, no! Please!”
My chest is about to explode. I want to scream and hurt her. Tears spill down my face in a constant stream.
“You will do this, Fallon,” she shouts, yanking me further. “Stop whining, and do what you’re told!”
My feet stumble across the ground as she pulls me closer to the door that I don’t want to enter.
“I can’t do this! Please, I’m begging you. Please!”
She stops and faces me. “What do you think is going to happen, Fallon? You think he’s going to marry you? He’s not even going to stay with you. If you don’t do this, your life will be over. Everything I’ve worked so hard for will be over.”
Part of me knows it is hopeless. I put my hands on my stomach, feeling the nausea roll.
Six weeks. It had been six weeks since I’d seen him and eight weeks since I’d gotten pregnant. Or so the doctor had said.
Did Madoc miss me? Was he thinking about me? I wish I could go back and be nicer to him. When he’d tried to kiss me in the gym after school, I shouldn’t have pulled away. I miss him, and I hate that I miss him.
I didn’t mean to love him.
I shake my head. “I won’t do it.”
The clinic’s shadow looms over us as I wipe at my tears.
“Why do you want it so much?” she snarls.
My heart still beats fast, but I keep my temper in check. “Because it’s mine. It’s Madoc’s and mine. I need to talk to him.”
“He’s already moved on to someone else.” She takes out her phone and shows me the screen. My stomach hollows out at the sight, and I cringe at the pain of trying to hold back the tears.
He’d posted photos on Facebook of a party at his house. He had his arm around another girl.
“Did you really think he loved you?”
“I need to talk to him.”
She sticks her phone back in her Prada bag and fists her manicured hand at her side. “Did he ever tell his friends about you? Did you ever go on a date with him, Fallon? It wasn’t love for him! He used you, Fallon!”
“You’re lying!” I advance in her space, the agony painful in my tense muscles. “He loves me. I know he does.”
I’d been so mean to him for so long, but I know he wants me. He never looked at other girls around me. And I can’t stand being without him.
She throws a hand in the air. “Well, congratulations and welcome to the Land of Every Female Is an Idiot!” she shouts. “We’ve all been here at least once. ‘He smiled at me. He really loves me. He opened the door for me. He really loves me.’” She looks straight at me. “Let me tell you what I’ve learned about women and men. Women overanalyze everything, and men think only about themselves. Madoc never went public with you. He doesn’t want you!”
I blinked awake, the vibrations from my phone rousing me. The room was dark, and I glanced over at the clock to see that it was only midnight. The dream was still fresh, and I noticed sweat around my hairline. I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands and pushed the images away.
Leaning over the side of the bed, I grabbed my cell off the floor. I remembered it had gotten knocked down with Madoc earlier.
Madoc.
I twisted my head to the side to see he was asleep next to me. He looked so peaceful, and I lay back down to look at him.
He rested on his stomach, and the sheet was pulled down to his waist. His hair had been wet after his shower, and after all of our activity, it had dried in a mess. It stuck up in twenty different directions and made him look younger. Or maybe just more carefree than he already was. His arms hugged the pillow under his head, and I envied his slow, even breathing.