“Lara, good luck.” She squeezes me back tightly and whispers, “I’ll miss you,” in my ear.
“Bye, Natalie,” I add shortly as I head to the door.
I push it open and walk along the corridor to the lift, press the button, and heft the box in my arms. I feel a bit numb. What am I going to do now?
“Sadie?” I say out of habit. But there’s no reply. Of course there isn’t.
The lift in our building is slow and ancient, and I’m just starting to hear its dim, cranking sound when there are footsteps behind me. I turn to see Kate approaching, looking breathless.
“Lara, I wanted to catch you before you left,” she says urgently. “Do you need an assistant?”
Oh God, she’s so sweet. She’s like the girl in Jerry Maguire . She wants to come with me and bring the goldfish. If we had one.
“Er… well, I don’t know whether I’m setting up another company yet, or what, but I’ll definitely let you know-”
“No, for your mind reading” she interrupts. “Do you need an assistant to help you with your tricks? Because I’d love to do it. I can wear a costume. And I can juggle!”
“Juggle?” I can’t help echoing.
“Yes! With beanbags! I could be your warm-up act!”
She looks so excited, I can’t bear to crush her hopes. I can’t bear to say, “I can’t really mind read; none of this is real.”
I’m so weary of no one else understanding. I wish I could sit down with just one person and say, “You know, the truth is, there’s this ghost…”
“Kate, I’m not sure that’ll work out.” I try to think of how to let her down lightly. “The truth is… I already have an assistant.”
“Oh, really?” Kate’s eager face deflates. “But they didn’t mention any assistant in the article. They said you did it all on your own.”
“She was kind of… backstage. She didn’t really want to be seen.”
“Who is she?”
“She’s… a relation,” I say at last.
Kate’s face falls still further. “Oh, right. Well, I suppose you probably work well together if you’re related.”
“We’ve got to understand each other pretty well.” I nod, biting my lip. “I mean, we’ve had a zillion arguments along the way. But, you know. We’ve spent a lot of time together. We’ve been through quite a lot. We’re… friends.”
I feel a pang in my chest even as I’m saying it. Maybe we were friends. I don’t know what we are now. And all of a sudden I feel heavy despair. Look at me. I’ve messed everything up with Sadie, with Ed, with Josh, I don’t have a business anymore, my parents are going to freak out, I’ve spent all my spare money on bloody flapper dresses-
“Well, if she ever doesn’t want to do it anymore…” Kate’s face brightens. “Or if she wants an assistant?”
“I don’t know what our plans are. I just… it’s all been a bit…” I feel my eyes sting. Kate’s face is so sympathetic and open, and I’ve been feeling so tense, the words start slipping out. “The thing is… we had a row. And she disappeared. I haven’t seen her or heard from her since.”
“You’re joking!” says Kate in dismay. “What was the row about?”
“Lots of things,” I say miserably. “I suppose mostly about… a man.”
“And do you know if she’s…” Kate hesitates. “I mean… is she OK?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what’s happened to her. She could be anywhere. I mean, normally we’re talking to each other all day long. But now… total silence.” With no warning, a tear rolls down my cheek.
“Oh, Lara!” says Kate, looking almost as upset as I feel. “And all this with Natalie too. Can Josh help?” She suddenly lights up. “Does he know her? He’s so supportive-”
“I’m not with Josh anymore!” I give a sudden sob. “We split up!”
“You split up?” Kate gasps. “Oh God, I had no idea! You must be so stressed out!”
“It hasn’t been my best week, to be honest.” I wipe my eyes. “Or my best day. Or my best hour.”
“You did the right thing, though, leaving Natalie.” Kate lowers her voice fervently. “And you know what? Everyone will want to do business with you. They love you. And they hate Natalie.”
“Thanks.” I try to smile. The lift arrives, and Kate holds the doors open for me while I lug my box in and balance it on the rail.