“No, you couldn’t!” I interrupt him indignantly. “OK, I’ll do another trick. Write down anything. Anything. Like, a shape, a name, a number. I’ll read your mind and tell you what you wrote.”
“Very well.” The man gives a little raised-eyebrows smile around the table, as though to say, “I’ll indulge her,” and takes a pen out of his pocket. “I’ll use my napkin.”
He lowers his napkin onto his lap so it’s completely out of view. I glance meaningfully at Sadie, who immediately hovers behind his back and leans forward to watch.
“He’s writing down… Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness.” She makes a face. “Dreadful handwriting.”
“All right.” The pompous man looks up. “Tell me what shape I’ve drawn.”
Oh, very sneaky.
I smile sweetly back and lift my hands toward him, just like The Great Firenzo did.
“The Great Lara will now read your mind. A shape, you say. Hmm… What shape could it be? Circle… square… I’m getting a square…”
The pompous man is exchanging smug smiles with the guy next to him. He thinks he’s so clever.
“Open your mind, sir!” I shake my head reproachfully at him. “Get rid of those thoughts saying I’m better than everyone at this table! They’re blocking me!”
The man’s face has turned red.
“Really-” he begins.
“I have it.” I cut him off firmly. “I have read your mind, and you did not draw a shape. No one can fool The Great Lara. On your napkin is written…” I pause, wishing I had a drum roll. “Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness . Show the table your napkin, please.”
Ha! The pompous man looks like he swallowed a fish. Slowly, he holds up the napkin, and there’s a massive gasp, followed by applause.
“Fucking hell,” says his neighbor bluntly. “How did you do that?” He appeals to the table. “There’s no way she could have known that.”
“It’s a trick,” the pompous man is saying, but he’s sounding less convinced.
“Do it again! Do it to someone else!” A man opposite is beckoning to the next table. “Hey, Neil, you have to see this. What’s your name again?”
“Lara,” I say proudly. “Lara Lington.”
“Where did you train?” The Great Firenzo is by my side, breathing heavily as he murmurs in my ear. “Who taught you that?”
“No one,” I say. “I told you, I have special powers. Female powers,” I can’t help adding. “Which means they’re especially strong.”
“Fine,” he snaps. “Forget it. I’m speaking to the union about you.”
“Lara, let’s go.” Sadie has appeared on my other side and is stroking Ed’s chest with her hand. “I want to dance. Come on!”
“Just do a few more tricks,” I mutter under my breath as guests start gathering around the table to watch. “Look at all these people! I can talk to them, give out my cards, make a few contacts-”
“I don’t care about your contacts!” She pouts. “I want to shake my booty!”
“A couple more.” I speak sidelong under camouflage of my wineglass. “Then we’ll go. Promise.”
But I’m in such demand that before I know it, nearly an hour has whizzed by. Everyone wants to have their mind read. Everyone in the room knows my name! The Great Firenzo has packed up and gone. I feel a bit bad about him, but then, he shouldn’t have been so obnoxious, should he?
Several tables have been pushed aside, chairs have been dragged forward, and an audience has assembled. By now I’ve refined my act so that I go off into a little side room, and the person writes down whatever it is and shows the whole audience. Then I come back in and guess. So far I’ve had names, dates, Bible verses, and a drawing of Homer Simpson. (Sadie described it to me. Luckily I got it.)
“And now.” I look impressively around the little crowd. “The Great Lara will perform a yet more astounding feat. I will read… five minds at once!”
There’s a satisfying gasp and spatter of applause.
“Me!” A girl rushes forward. “Me!”
“And me!” Another girl is scrambling over the chairs.
“Sit on that chair.” I gesture with a flourish. “The Great Lara will now retire and then return to read your mind!”
There’s a round of applause and a few cheers, and I beam modestly. I head off into the side room and take a swig of water. My face is glowing and I’m totally wired. This is fantastic! We should do it full-time!