Damn. As I emerge from the Ladies’, he’s waiting for me. Gunter Bachmeier is actually standing in the corridor, staking out the door of the Ladies’.
“Oh, hello, Gunter,” I say smoothly. “How delightful to see you. I’ve been meaning to catch up with you—”
“You hef been avoiding me,” he says in severe guttural tones.
“Nonsense! Are you enjoying the party?” I force myself to put a hand on his meaty forearm.
“You hef traduced my new hotel.”
He pronounces “traduced” with a rich, rolling sound. “Trrrraduced.” I’m quite impressed that he knows the word. I certainly wouldn’t know the equivalent for “traduced” in German. My German extends to “Taxi, bitte?”
“Gunter, you’re overreacting.” I smile pleasantly. “A four-star review is hardly … traducement.” Traduction? Traducedom? “I’m sorry that my reviewer found herself unable to allot you five stars—”
“You hef not reviewed my hotel yourself.” He’s bristling with anger. “You hef sent an amateur. You hef treated me with disrrrrespect!”
“No, I hef not!” I retort before I can stop myself. “I mean hev. Have.” My face is flaming. “Have not.”
I didn’t mean to do that; I just have a terrible parrot habit. I mimic voices and accents without intending to. Now Gunter is glaring at me even more viciously.
“Everything all right, Felicity?” Gavin, our publisher, comes bustling up. I can see his radar twitching and I know why. Last year, the Gruffalo shelled out for twenty-four double-page spreads. The Gruffalo is keeping us in business. But I can’t give his hotel a five-star review simply because he bought some ads. A five-star review in Pincher Travel Review is a very big deal.
“I was just explaining to Gunter that I sent one of our top freelancers to review his hotel,” I say. “I’m sorry he wasn’t happy, but—”
“You should hef gone yourrrself.” Gunter spits the words dismissively. “Wherrrre is your crrrredibility, Felicity? Wherrre is your rrrreputation?”
As he stalks off, I secretly feel a bit shaken. As I lift my eyes to Gavin, my heart is pumping.
“Well!” I try to sound lighthearted. “What an overreaction.”
“Why didn’t you cover the Palm Stellar?” Gavin is frowning. “You review all major launches. That’s always been the deal.”
“I decided to send Celia Davidson,” I say brightly, avoiding the question. “She’s a great writer.”
“Why didn’t you cover the Palm Stellar?” he repeats, as though he hasn’t heard me.
“I had some stuff going on with … with …” I clear my throat, unwilling to say the word. “Some personal stuff.”
I watch as Gavin suddenly comprehends. “Your divorce?”
I can’t bring myself to answer. I twist my watch round my wrist, as though suddenly interested in the mechanism.
“Your divorce?” His voice sharpens ominously. “Again?”
My cheeks are burning with embarrassment. I know my divorce has taken on epic, Lord of the Rings–style proportions. I know it’s taken up more of my working time than it should have. I know I keep promising Gavin that it’s all done and dusted.
But it’s not like I have a choice. And it’s not like it’s fun.
“I was talking to a specialist barrister based in Edinburgh,” I admit at last. “I had to fly up there; his schedule was really busy—”
“Felicity.” Gavin beckons me to one side of the corridor, and at the sight of his tight-lipped smile, my stomach turns over. That’s the smile he wears to cut salaries and budgets and tell people their magazine is unfortunately being axed, could they please leave the building? “Felicity, no one could be more sympathetic to your plight than me. You know that.”
He’s such a liar. What does he know about divorce? He has a wife and a mistress, and neither of them seems to mind about the other.
“Thank you, Gavin,” I feel obliged to say.
“But you cannot let your divorce get in the way of your job or the reputation of Pincher International,” he raps out. “Understand?”
Suddenly, for the first time, I feel genuinely nervous. I know from experience that Gavin starts invoking the “reputation of Pincher International” when he’s thinking of firing someone. It’s a warning.
I also know from experience, the only way to deal with him is to refuse to admit anything.
“Gavin.” I draw myself up as tall as possible and affect a dignified air. “Let me make one thing quite clear.” I pause, as though I’m David Cameron at Prime Minister’s Questions. “Quite clear. If there’s one thing I never, ever do, it’s let my personal life compromise my job. In fact—”