My voice cracked as emotion clogged my throat. Tears filled my eyes and began streaming down my cheeks as I continued pouring my heart out to the silent form lying so still in front of me. “Oh God, Jacks…I just…I can’t do this without you. You need to wake up! WAKE UP!” I sobbed, my words echoing in the room.
“I- there’s more- and-” I started, haltingly. And then I said the words that I’d been keeping bottled up inside. The words that I had wanted to say while looking into those deep brown eyes that I love so much, while that dimple that makes me weak in the knees flashed with that smile I’d give anything to see again. “I’m pregnant, Jackson.”
A choked gasp came from the doorway and I jerked my gaze up to see Brandon standing there, a shocked but rueful expression on his face.
I stood quickly, reaching out for him, stumbling over the words to make him understand why I hadn’t told him, especially given the fact that we were together… “Brandon, I’m so so sorry…I wanted to tell you but I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything with things so up in the air about Jacks-”
He cut me off, as he’s been doing quite a bit lately. “Allie, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I understand.” He ran his hand over his hair agitatedly, blowing out a breath. “You know that no matter what happens, I’ll be here for you, right? For you and the baby?”
“Yes, but Brandon, it’s-”
“I know it’s his,” he cut in again.
“How did you…what?” I stuttered then flushed as I realized that he knew exactly the same way I did.
“Force of habit, baby. I always wore a condom, he didn’t.” He froze and then backpedaled, not wanting me to get the wrong impression. “It’s not that I never wanted to go without, or that he always did go without, I know that he didn’t. But with me, it’s just, like I said, a force of habit. I’ve never gone without one with anyone…not under any circumstances. Well, with you there was a couple times that I…you know.”
I nodded…yeah, I knew. But it was never in a place that he’d get me pregnant. I sat down in the chair beside Jackson’s bed again.
Brandon crossed the room and knelt beside me, grabbing my chin and forcing me to meet his gaze. “Things are going to be okay. I swear it. Regardless of what happens.” He leaned forward and kissed me on my forehead before gathering me in his arms, holding tight when the dam burst again.
I cried for what seemed like an eternity, soaking his shirt with my tears until I couldn’t cry anymore, only small, hiccupping sobs remaining. I finally pulled away from him, murmuring an apology when he got to his feet slowly, his poor knees obviously killing him from kneeling on the linoleum floor like that for so long.
A nurse bustled in and shot me a look of sympathy as she took in my tear-stained face and obviously bedraggled appearance. “Need anything, honey?” she asked me as she passed, moving to check the machines beeping around the bed and the man lying in it.
“No, thank you. I’m good,” I said.
She finished her check-up and patted first me, then Brandon, on the arm as she passed by. “I’ll be back in a while to check on him again. If you need anything, you know where to find me.” With a kind smile, she walked out the door, leaving us alone again.
I sighed and glanced up at Brandon again. “Want to sit with me for a while?” I asked him.
He smiled and nodded before grabbing the other chair in the room and pulling it over beside me. He sat and reached out to pat Jackson’s good leg. “Hey, man,” he said to him. Then he looked at me as he said, “You know, you’re a lucky bastard, Jackson. And by lucky I mean that you have gorgeous woman sitting here bawling her eyes out over you because she loves you so much and because you knocked her up.”
He winked at me and continued, this time looking at Jackson as he spoke. “But you gotta wake up, man. You kid is gonna need someone to teach him all that fancy house building shit you do so he can build a killer tattoo shop to work in on the side.”
I giggled at that, reaching out to take Brandon’s hand in one of mine and Jackson’s with the other.
“But no, really, man. We miss you. So come home, buddy.” The last words sounded choked and he cleared his throat.
He glanced back at me and I gave him a watery smile. “Allie,” he said tentatively, “Are you happy? About the baby, I mean?”
I blew out a breath and nodded, placing my other hand protectively over my belly. “I really am, Brandon. I was shocked at first, but…I’m going to be a mom. And I’m going to love him or her with all my heart. WE will.”
He nodded, clasping my hand a little tighter. We didn’t say much after that, just sat in silence with his hand resting on Jackson’s leg while I held their hands in each of mine, lost in our own thoughts.
And then I felt it. A tiny little flutter against my hand.
I sat up, jerking my hand out of Brandon’s and clasping both of them around Jackson’s good one. I held my breath, willing it to happen again. Brandon started to ask me what was wrong but stopped when I shook my head rapidly not to speak.
There! Again! I grinned, the waterworks starting again as I turned to Brandon excitedly saying, “He moved! His hand-it MOVED!”
Brandon jumped up and raced from the room as I pleaded with Jackson to move his fingers again, to wake up, open his eyes, anything! In a second he was back, nurse in tow. She moved around the bed quickly, checking his monitors, his vitals, and then gently opening each of his eyelids to shine a light into his eyes to check reaction.
There was no real reaction from Jackson until she shined the light into his second eye and he gave the slightest flinch. She looked over at me and then Brandon, grinning as she said, “I’ll call the doctor.” She rushed out of the room again and I laughed as Brandon came over to me, grabbed me up and kissed me quickly, grinning at me like a kid on Christmas day.
“I’m gonna go call his mom and everyone,” he said.
I turned back to look at Jackson and gasped, tears pouring freely down my face as I looked into deep brown eyes…eyes that were open and looking at me.
“Ohmigod, ohmigod, OHMIGOD! Thank fuck! Oh, Jesus, you’re awake! JACKSON!” I cried, squeezing his hand in mine and leaning down to kiss his fingers. I could feel my hands shaking around his…hell, my whole body was shaking. I let go with one of my hands and reached for the call button, frantically telling the nurse who answered, “He’s awake! His eyes are open!”
I heard footsteps running in the hallway outside the room and all of sudden there was frantic movement everywhere as people flooded in. Nurses and doctors surrounded the bed and I was pushed back a little, my grip on Jackson’s hand coming loose. I stepped back, not really wanting to lose that connection with him, but knowing that I was in the way, and watched as they asked questions, poked, prodded, and wrote notes.
Brandon skidded back into the room and came to me saying, breathlessly, “They’re all on the way. I called your parents and they’re coming, too.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, leaning against him as we watched, waiting to hear some kind of information out of the cluster of white coats and scrubs. Bits and pieces of conversation floated by us; ‘pupil reaction good…eyes clear…lungs sound good…let’s try taking him off the vent…good…good…’