“He’s on the back porch drinking coffee and waiting on you,” he said. Turning back to his bowl of cereal and steady watch of his passed out mother, he effectively let me know that the conversation was over.
“Keep an eye on your sister for a minute, would you? And share some of that cereal with her. Oh, and don’t let her poke your mom anymore, either, okay?” I asked.
Jarrod nodded. “Okay.”
I turned and made my way out the door to talk to Noah. Not that I was looking forward to this conversation, because, honestly, I had no clue what had happened last night with the exception of my falling on my ass after climbing the fence, hiding in the pantry, and listening to Jenna justify playing hide and seek with her husband without cluing him into the game.
“So,” Noah began, as he slid a cup of coffee over to me.
I held up my hand. “It would be easier and quicker if you just filled me in on the hours between when I fell off your fence, got manhandled by your wife, crammed myself into the pantry, fielded strange ass phone calls in the middle of the night, and now, when I woke up feeling like you were about to arrest me.”
Noah quirked his eyebrow at me. “You climbed the fence and hid in the…never mind. Your sister,” he sighed in exasperation, “hid on the floorboard in the back of my car last night. Under my raincoat. Like I wouldn’t notice a wiggling lump in the back of the car. I mean, she does realize that I’m a detective, right, Emma?”
I shrugged and watched as my sister opened the door to come out and join us. Her hair looked like she’d stuck a finger in a light socket somewhere, and it wasn’t pretty.
Noah continued, watching his wife with an unreadable expression. “I stopped at the Snack ‘N Shack to get some munchies because I got called in to cover for one of the guys who’s wife went into labor. We were doing a stake out for this case we’ve been working on, but since your sister decided to stow away like Little Orphan Annie in my car, I had to hang back and let someone else take point. So, I decided to teach your sister a lesson.”
My eyes widened at this, and I glanced at my sister who was watching her husband with that look. You know, the one that says, “you say another word and not only will I never put out for you again, but I will bury you in the back yard.”
Noah said, “I drove around until I got to Rider Park and parked in the back. Then I sat there to see how long it would be before Jenna realized that I knew she was there. I noticed the bag of chips being drug slowly into the backseat by a black glove covered hand,” Noah drawled. “I didn’t say anything, and it took all I had not to laugh at the crunching sounds emanating from under my rain coat.” He looked over to where Jenna was still standing and his eyes started to sparkle. “I even let her get away with stealing my slushie while I was pretending to get something out of the trunk.”
“What? I was hungry and thirsty you bought all the good junk food that we never get to have in the house. Someone has to be the responsible parent and make the kids eat healthy,” Jenna hollered indignantly.
I rolled my eyes at this and asked her, “So did you notice what your kids were eating this morning while you were passed out like a coed after a frat party on the table?”
She glared at me and Noah before plopping down in Noah’s lap and stealing his coffee.
Noah grinned and patted her thigh fondly. “I was content to let her stay cramped up back there for as long as possible, but apparently she got bored. I couldn’t take it anymore when I started hearing pig snorts and birds and busted out laughing.”
He started chuckling even harder when Jenna shrugged her shoulders and said, “Angry Birds. Love that game.”
I started laughing and couldn’t stop because of the mental images I had popping around in my head.
“So I reached back and jerked the raincoat off of her. She just sat up and glared at me like I was interrupting her. Then I got in the backseat and pulled her up with me and we talked. And then we…” Noah waggled his eyebrows and grinned lasciviously at Jenna. “So next time she calls you for a harebrained idea like last night? You can still come running,” he said, laughing.
Jenna blushed and ducked her head against his shoulder. I groaned. Time for me to go!
Chapter 3
The rest of my weekend passed without incident (which was a relief, for once) and Monday came way too early. Guess I should really learn to put down my book and actually go to sleep, right?
I walked into the office where I worked, my heels click clacking against the tile. I love that sound. Weird, right? But it makes me feel professional and sexy. I had worn my favorite sweater dress today, a soft smoky gray color that has a fitted top and sharp pleats that flow from just under my boobs to just above my knees. I paired it with black leggings and my high heeled black boots with the cute little double silver buckles on each side. I had swept my hair up in a messy topknot at the back of my head, and had put on a minimal amount of makeup. Usually, I only outline my eyes in kohl, because that makes them really stand out more than they already do from their unusual color. Already I could tell it was going to be a busy day because the phones were ringing off the hook.
I’m a legal secretary for an attorney in the town where I live. I live in Phillus. Its not a big town, kind of small, really, in the southern part of Ohio. At least once a year some genius gets the bright idea to spray paint the town sign over the “i” with an “a”, and until the township catches it, we live in “Phallus”, Ohio. Doesn’t that make you wanna visit?
I snatch the phone up as I plop down at my desk. “Good morning, Floyd Grim’s office, may I help you?” I said breathlessly into the phone.
A creaky, scratchy voice yells in my ear, “Emma? Is that you?”
I sigh. “Yes, Mrs. Allen. It’s me, Emma.”
“Dear, I cant find Fluffers. I think that rat bastard Doc next door took him again,” she rasped.
“Mrs. Allen, we don’t handle those kinds of cases. I told you that last week. And remember? Doc is the town vet, he probably picked him up again to give him his shots,” I told her in a gentle voice.
Mrs. Allen calls at least once a week, and the conversations usually have something to do with her forty-five pound cat, Fluffers. A couple of years ago, she got ambitious and brought him into the office because “he” wanted to sue Doc for neutering him without his “mommy’s” permission. I think the cat weighed almost as much as Mrs. Allen, and he was a nasty gray furball that I think was white at one time. Don’t get me wrong, I think Mrs. Allen takes care of him as much as she can for someone who was born in 1824 (I’m kidding…it was more like 1482) but Doc actually sneaks and helps her out.
Mrs. Allen wasn’t done yet. “Well, can I sue him for that? Fluffers doesn’t like needles.”
I rolled my eyes and leaned back in my chair. My other lines started to ring and I almost wept in relief.
“Mrs. Allen, you cant sue him for that, its helping Fluffers. My other lines are ringing, so I have to go, okay? I’ll talk to you next week,” I told her.
“Okay, Emma. I’m sure that rat bastard will have done something more to poor Fluffers by then. Thanks, dear.” With that, Mrs. Allen hung the phone up in my ear.
I hit the button for the next line and gave my greeting. Silence. Oh, well, guess they will call back. Reaching to hit the next line key, I smiled as my boss walked in the door. He’s a nice guy, been practicing law for all my life and even more of his. He’s absent minded about a lot of things, but when it comes to his cases, he’s sharp as a tack. And he pays pretty good, so…