I laughed. “Bless you.” The chuckle actually felt good. I was relieved for the break in my agony. “I needed that.”
“No, really.” Aspen just kept frowning. “How could he not realize how awesome you are? How could he...and then just move on with someone else without talking to you first? Oh, wait. Is the apartment leased in your name or did you move in with him? Maybe—”
My shoulders buckled from the burden piling on them. “I moved in with him about six months ago, and he’d been living there for over a year. The lease and everything is in his name.”
“But haven’t you been paying the rent for the past—”
“Four months? Yeah. Pretty much.” Stupid, idiotic, naive me.
Aspen shook her head. “I still can’t believe he just... That bastard.”
It did my heart good, seeing her upset on my behalf, and that kind of cheered me up a little more.
“Yup.” I nodded, totally agreeing. “But the good news in all this is that I’m not pregnant like I kind of feared I was.”
“Say what?”
Leaning in toward her, I confessed, “I’m late, but I think it’s just stress or I-don’t-know because I sensed something was going on with him lately. But this is the second test I’ve taken in two days, and they’ve both been negative, so whew, huh? Dodged a bullet there.”
Aspen shook her head, gazing at me with something akin to awe, which was weird because I didn’t think I could be any more pathetic than I was in this moment.
“You amaze me,” she said. “I don’t know how you can still smile and be so upbeat at a time like this.”
The grin on my face went a little stiff as a memory assailed me.
Make me a promise, a voice from my past whispered through my head. Suddenly, I was sixteen again and he was gripping my face, begging me with desperate brown eyes. No matter what happens today, don’t ever change. You are fun and sweet and amazing just the way you are. You make the world a better place because you always find the bright side. You ARE the bright side. And if I’m ever going to make it through this, I need to know you’re out there, still glowing and making the world bright.
I wiped my hands over my face and coughed through a tickle in my throat. “Well...” I shrugged and met Aspen’s gaze before I had to look away. “You know, it wasn’t like Cam was the great love of my life.”
He certainly hadn’t been...
Knox.
I blew out a breath and sent Aspen another one of my fake smiles. Her brow crinkled with worry. “So you just stayed with him all these months, living with him and letting him mooch off you because...?”
My gaze fell as my shoulders slumped with shame. “I don’t know,” I mumbled, drawing a line through the condensation of my Long Island Iced Tea glass with my finger. “Loneliness, maybe. Something to do.” My chest went tight. “Sometimes you just go with a situation because there’s nothing better for you. So you just...”
“Settle?” Aspen guessed softly.
I frowned, guilt niggling at me. “Well, now I feel like a total bitch, like I used poor Cam just to pass the time.”
“No, I know you didn’t. I mean, you supported him while he was out of work, feeding him and housing him and paying his car payment when you could barely afford all that for yourself. And you practically got him that new job. You defended him every time Noel talked trash about him, and—”
“Well, it turns out your hubby was right. Cam was a lousy boyfriend.” I gasped and looked at her as a sudden thought struck. “Or maybe he just knew. Maybe he knew I couldn’t love him, and...and that’s what drove him away.”
Aspen rolled her eyes. “If that were the case, then he should’ve talked to you about it, not found someone else behind your back while he was still with you. You are not to blame for what that asshole did today.”
“But—”
“Listen to me, and listen good.” Reaching across the table, Aspen grasped both of my hands in both of hers. “You did not deserve to be treated that way. And Cam was a complete idiot for not appreciating how beautiful, smart, charming, loyal, and lovely you are. If he thought your feelings for him needed to be stronger, he should’ve tried harder to win your heart over instead of turning to the first willing slut to open her legs for him. Because you are worth fighting for, damn it.”
“Wow,” I murmured, shaking my head. “If you weren’t already married, I would so turn lesbian right now to chase after you.”