He ran his fingers lazily up and down my arm. “I don’t know that I can be okay with you gone.”
I kissed him. “You have to be.”
He was quiet for a second, and I felt a little strand of hope along our bond.
“What?”
“I was thinking about our land.”
Our land. “What about it?”
“Just that. The future. I hope that we get to have it.”
My bottom lip trembled, and I bit it. No use getting upset now. “Me, too.”
“Sleep.”
I sighed. I didn’t want to go to bed. I didn’t want tomorrow to happen. And yet, despite how much I didn’t want to sleep, as Dastien trailed his fingertips lightly over my skin, my eyelids grew heavy.
I hoped I wasn’t wrong. That we’d get through it. And that I wasn’t putting my mate through hell for no reason.
If I didn’t come back from my stint with some answers, heads were going to roll.
Chapter Nine
The morning came way too soon, and I wanted to spend every possible second with Dastien. Rather than going down to the cafeteria, we ate the contents of my mini-fridge for breakfast. Sure, not all of it was exactly breakfast food, but it did the job.
By seven we were both dressed and all my bags waited by the door. “I guess we should go.”
“Wouldn’t want you to be late.”
His sarcasm annoyed me. “No. I don’t want to be late. We made a deal, and we need to follow through. I’m not going to give them any reason to point fingers at us. I’ll follow the rules, so that when I come back, they’ll have no complaints.”
“Do you really think that’s going to happen?”
Honestly, no. “I have to hope that I’m doing this for a reason. That I’m not putting you—us through this for nothing. I’m trying to stop a war and keep people from getting hurt. I don’t want to see anyone spelled like Meredith was.” I pictured her seizure on the roof of the dorms. “That was a nightmare.” I grabbed one of the duffels and started for the door, but Dastien grabbed my arm and tugged me to him.
“I’m sorry. I’m trying not to be a spoiled brat. I just…You don’t know how awful I felt when you snuck onto their land with Chris. It was the worst thing I’d ever experienced. Worse than my parents’ deaths.”
I dropped the bag. “I won’t be dying. You have to remember that the bond is blocked, not broken. Every time you reach for me and I’m not there, remember that I’m okay and that I love you. All right?” Dastien was kind of adorable when he was being pouty.
“I’ll try.” He picked up the bag I’d dropped along with my other bag. “Let’s go, before I lock you up in the feral cages and swallow the key.”
I threw my messenger bag over my shoulder and took one last look around my room before I closed the door. Be back soon, I thought to myself.
If I’d been wondering where my friends were hiding, I shouldn’t have. They were all sitting around my car. I handed Dastien the keys as I walked to them.
“Hey,” Adrian said. “You need me to come down to the coven, you let me know. I think they might let me visit.” Adrian was the only Were I knew who had brujo blood. If he hadn’t been born a Were, he would’ve ended up with la Aquelarre.
Chris pulled me in for a hug. “If the coven gets to you, try drawing mean pictures of them. Always helps me.”
“I can’t draw.” My ‘art’ made stick figures look like masterpieces.
“Even better.”
I laughed.
Meredith hugged me hard, nearly suffocating me. “I’m going to miss you, roomie.”
“Me, too. Keep an eye on my stuff for me.” Both of us were choking back tears, but I wouldn’t let mine fall.
“Will do.”
Dastien closed the trunk. “Time to go.”
I wouldn’t cry. I couldn’t let myself. I was doing the right thing and being an adult. That meant no crying. “See you guys later.” I hopped in the passenger side. As much as I liked driving, I was sure that when we left the gates, the waterworks were going to start whether or not I was trying to be brave.
I wasn’t wrong. The first sob slipped through as soon as we were turned on the main road.
“Please don’t.” Dastien gripped the steering wheel hard. “I’m barely holding it together. I can’t take you there if you’re going to cry like this.”
I wiped my tears on my shirt. “I know. It’s dumb. I just don’t like goodbyes.”